


Are We Just Friends?

by foryoubabeitsanobrain



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: FWB, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Teenagers, Touring
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:58:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8700052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foryoubabeitsanobrain/pseuds/foryoubabeitsanobrain
Summary: George and Matty have been friends with benefits on and off since they were teenagers but now things are getting a little complicated.





	1. Right Here, Right Now

He laid in bed next to his best friend with a hazy state of mind. Tried to get up but the liquor from last night knocked him back down. Instead he looked at the lines in his best friends face remembering when it was youthful and baby faced although it still is. His blonde mane wildly all over his face. His chest rising and falling as he snored. God he was in love. But how do you tell someone you're that close to and work with that you're in love with them? It's more of a secret he plans to take to the grave. So many bad things could come of it that it outweighs the good. He sucks at relationships. It's not that he intends to he just does. He tries to be faithful, loyal, honest and there for his lovers but he fails them. A smile creeps on the blondes face as he sleeps. Matty turns over and tries to fall back asleep which takes over his body a lot faster than he expected. 

George wakes up gasping for air with this uneasy feeling like someone is watching him. He scans the room finding no one in sight just his best mate fast asleep. He smiles to himself glad that he's finally getting some rest. It's not that Matty isn't capable of taking care of himself he just pushes his body and mind so far that George worries about him. They raided the mini bar the night before while working on some new songs which he was reminded of with the pounding in his head making him wonder if they ordered more. He was certain they did. He always drinks too much especially around Matty. He didn't mean to but after spending so much time with him touring and sharing hotel rooms fell for him. He knows it's just a silly crush. But sometimes he wonders if it could ever be more and when he wonders he drinks. Anything to get it off his mind. He grabbed a bottle of pain killers from his bag and decided to order breakfast for them then began brewing coffee knowing it's Matty's favorite morning scent. 

He was fast asleep in a dream. Only it felt too real. Matty was falling into a dark abyss filled with all of his weaknesses. The one thing he's always scared of--- himself. Being like the musicians he's tried to emulate. Gone too soon. But then he sees the light. He sees George. A toothy grin, that familiar scent of weed accompanied by his laughter and bare skin in a steamy shower. George is everywhere. He feels him. He sees him. He hears him. He tastes him. His lips are on his neck devouring him as a hand print appears on the glass shower wall. He moans in response. Their drenched bodies uniting as one in a rhythm all of their own. An overwhelming sense of desire and pleasure takes over him. Matty's body betrays him by waking him up from the nightmare turned pleasant dream. His eyes slowly open to find George is at the table with 2 cups of coffee and what looks like waffles. He grins grabbing his phone and tussling his hair before admitting defeat to the morning making his way to the table. 

The pair just sat in silence as Matty gulps down the first cup of the day.   
"Morning George." He says grinning at the blonde from across the table. George tips his mug slightly and smiles.   
"Morning Matty, sleep well?" He's always genuinely concerned about that. Wanting to make sure he feels comfortable. It's hard to considering half the time they don't even know where they are. It all blurs together and they cling onto each other as the only constant.   
Matty's thinking about his dream. He forgot it at first. Then he looked into his eyes and it all came back and stained his cheeks this horrid shade of pink.   
"It was good. Best I've had in ages." He chuckled knowing it's his own little secret as he finally takes a bite of his waffle. George chuckles back and smiles because he's glad the nightmares stopped. It used to be Matty waking up in a cold sweat screaming and crying. Begging for his life to end. Begging for an end to the misery he felt inside until George encouraged him to use it in his writing and now it all comes out. He's happier and he owes it all to George.   
"So we have a little time off in between the interview since it's a day off. What do you want to do?" George asks finishing his plate and going through his phone.  
"Zip lining over flames and dragons... hmm rescue Princess Peach from the wrong tower again.... have a wank to some fan fic.... god George so much to do." He added sarcastically with George knowing well enough what they planned. It was on the west coast so as per tradition they were all gonna get a sail boat and spent time on the sea. Away from the fans and the music and the world. Allowing all their troubles and fears to just float away into the water. George chuckled almost choking on his water.   
"Yeah stupid question. Let me text Adam and Ross and see when we're suppose to leave for it." His phone instantly pinged back with Adam and Ross both proclaiming they're feeling exhausted and want to relax which is understandable and expected since their girlfriends stopped by for a visit last night.   
"Looks like it's just us. They're not feeling well."   
"Wankers. Leaving us for their girlfriends."   
George laughed and pulled some weed out of his jacket.   
"I'll make it better."   
Matty chuckled grabbing the bag.   
"Oh my hero." He snorted sarcastically. 

 

They sat in the hotel room stoned out of their mind watching some ridiculous American comedy show about idiots getting hurt doing stupid stunts. Yes it was outrageous but they couldn't stop laughing. Sitting on the "upscale" leather black sofa that this posh hotel had that was incredibly uncomfortable. Matty reached for a slice of pizza from the box they had delivered and the same electricity he felt in his dream appeared as George accidentally grabbed his hand. He turned to apologize but before he could even grasp what was going on Matty was in his lap kissing his neck. He tilted it and groaned in response. Letting him mark his neck with dark spots all over. One by his ear. Under it. The middle of his neck. Shoulder. Any bare skin Matty could possibly find. Their minds were hazy so they let their bodies speak. In one swift motion all articles of clothing vanished.   
"Condom?" Matty whispered in George's ear as he grinded on him and kissed his neck.   
"I--I-- it's in my bag. By the bed." Matty lingered reluctantly biting his lip before making his way to the bed and finding what he needed taking the items out then shuffling back to the couch.   
"We can take this to the bed if you'd like." George whispered softly.   
"Yeah. Ok." Matty whispered back closing up the space between them by letting their lips meet again frantically and desperately. Wanting to feel something. Bridging the gap between friendship and lovers. They wanted more. But fuck they were scared. Their fingers intertwined as George pushed Matty onto the bed.   
"I want you." George announced biting his lip softly. Matty responded by pulling George onto him. Licking his chest and gliding his tongue into his mouth.   
"I'm all yours. I'm here." He replied breathy and his tone unsteady.   
"Yeah? And I'm all yours too. I want you right here, right now." He grinned before reaching down to kiss Matty's lips. They rolled around in bed making out and fighting for dominance when George finally got Matty pinned down.   
"I want you in my lap again." He whispered in his ear licking at his neck. Matty nodded and George helped him up then rolled him over. He applied a generous amount of lube to his hole. Getting him ready with his fingers. George knows this isn't the first time he's been with a guy and it's like it's his either. They did their fair share of experimenting back when they were unknown and their partners could keep a secret instead of plastering post sex selfies all over the internet accompanied by some cheesy tumblr post. At least they knew each other could keep a secret and that's what makes it better. It didn't stop Matty from becoming a moaning mess but gradually he loosened up.   
"You're so tight, Matty. You're doing good baby. Are you ready?" Matty cried out in response and George helped him up. Lowering him onto him. Their fingers intertwining as George whimpered praises in his neck. Matty moaned loudly with each word. The sensations from his dreams becoming reality. Everything else seemed to blur together as they climaxed. They ended up falling asleep next to each other. Matty resting his head on his chest and a white blanket draped lazily over them. 

George dreamt about Matty as they had their post sex slumber. He dreamt they were teenagers again and stoned. So stoned. It was Matty's 17th birthday weekend and his parents were gone. Adam and Ross left with their girlfriends leaving Matty and George alone. They've been drinking and smoking so they aren't thinking straight. George's heart is beating out of his chest as Matty looks at him. He has a look of a desire, fear, lust and George doesn't know if it's the best or worst thing he's ever seen in his life. He puts the joint down and they kiss like someone's going to pry them away any minute. Gasping for air before they finally get up and go to Matty's bed they peel each others clothes off softly. Knowing what they're doing and not caring how it could impact their friendship. They just wanted to show the other just how much they loved them. George was slowly pushing Matty towards the bed when his ankle got caught in a pair of jeans instead of falling he was caught by George. He always was. Matty's cheeks were stained red as George stroked them.   
"I got you. I always will, Matty. Just say the word. I'm there."   
He nods in response as the pair kisses and Matty is deposited on the bed softly. George brushed a piece of his hair away from his face and looked deeply into his eyes. 

When George wakes up from his dream he opens his eyes to see Matty smoking a joint in sweatpants and his hair pulled up writing. He grins and Matty looks over at him making eye contact before smiling back.   
"Good afternoon, you. Must've been a good dream judging by that tent I felt in your pants earlier." He chuckled and started writing once again. The thing is George isn't embarrassed at the slightest. So when Matty says that it's more of flirty banter. He gets up from the bed to join Matty on the couch taking the joint from his hand.  
"Someone wants a round 2?" He says releasing a cloud of smoke.   
"What were you dreaming of George?" Matty asks softly kissing him. Smoking once again and allowing it to go through his nose. George has him pinned to the couch in no time. His head resting on the arm rest as he begins to nip at his neck. Making Matty moan and squirm from under neath him.   
"Whatever it is looks like you're having good thoughts too." George barked back into his ear.   
"Because I know it's about me isn't it?" George nods his head gently before kissing him.   
"A memory of you." He murmurs softly.   
Matty pulls away from the kiss and rubs into George's cheeks.   
"What was it?" He smiles looking into his eyes.   
"Remember your 17th birthday? Your parents let you have the place to yourself. We threw a little party and then everyone left and we were alone in your room. When we had sex for the first time. I wanted to give you something nice for your birthday but nothing would do...." Matty cuts him off with a kiss.   
"You gave me your body, your soul, your heart and that's the best give I've ever received. I know we're just fucking around but I liked it. I still like it actually. You're one of the few constants in my life. So thank you for everything." And with those words they were going at it again and again and again. They might fuck around a lot but it doesn't mean they don't feel anything. They feel everything even if they don't tell each other that but eventually they'll see.


	2. //As The Crowd Cheers For An Overdose//

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's just one of those nights" Matty tries to tell himself. He had a bad feeling about tonight as they did sound check and assessed the crowd outside. Nothing could prepare him for what happens but George tries his best to make it better.

It was one of those shows. The ones where Matty questions everything. He locks himself in the room alone sulking over a bottle of wine. All he can hear is the screams. The red in that poor girls hair as she fell down and became engulfed in the crowd. People stepping on her fragile body. Their eyes met before she went down but he couldn't save her or the other 16 people in the crowd that were pulled out from dehydration, passing out and in one case a seizure. He did what he could to calm down the crowd and it wasn't enough. One by one they dropped and had to be carried out by the medics. He got a beer thrown at him and it barely missed his skull. Someone in the crowd tried picking a fight with him and for a moment he almost lost it contemplating stopping the concert to knock his arse out which he's done before back when they were unknown. The boy couldn't have been older than 16 and that's what made him calm down. He doesn't know how the kid even got a beer until he saw what appeared to be his older brother next to him. It was the worst night of his life. He sat in a dark corner near the window lips stained purple tears streaming down his face trying to calm down. Rocking his body and deep breathing like the therapist he saw before tour said to do. It wasn't helping. The bad wasn't coming out.   
"Breathe in. Breathe out." He mentally reminded himself but it didn't work. A baggie filled with the substance his been trying to avoid catches his eye. "It's just tonight." He told himself but his brain knows that's how it starts. 

Adam and Ross attempted to get him to open the door fearing the worse. 

"Matty mate open up I got pizza. You know you love a good one. It got good reviews on Yelp. The locals love it."   
Ross stood in the hallway yelling at the door. Matty didn't respond so he motioned over at Adam who was carrying the boxes of pizza in his arms. Adam knocked on the door gently.   
"Matty please we're worried about you."   
Adam added barely audible giving up on the situation even though he didn't want to. It was a difficult night for all of them but it hit Matty the hardest.   
Finally George emerges from the elevator with their room key in hand and a bag of items. A rush of relief take over their faces.   
"Where ya been mate?" Ross asks eating a slice and offering one to George which he refuses shaking his head.  
" I got this. Just go to your rooms and let me take care of it."   
They nod their heads and retreat into their room across the hall. George sticks the key card in and opens the door. 

Matty jumps back at the sound of the door clicking open. The white substance he just inhaled obviously taking effect. He was woozy stumbling to greet George. He smelled the aroma of greasy burgers and fries accompanied by what appeared to be a milk shake. George sat the items down and immediately held Matty closely embracing him. A tear stained Matty's bare shoulder.   
"I know you're use to people telling you what you should and shouldn't do but I'm not going to do that. Tonight's been a rough night. I know neither of us want to talk about it but I want you to know that I love you. I don't like seeing you doing this to yourself. Let's eat some burgers and get you sobered up. And then I'll take care of you." He smiled setting up the table for them.   
"I-I-I don't want sex tonight." Matty slurred loosing balance. George caught him and sat him on the bed kissing his cheek.   
"I never said anything about that. I just want to get some food in you, love. Relax." George grabbed the bags of food and handed fries to Matty. He had an odd habit of always eating his fries first. They sat in silence eating on the bed together then sipping their chocolate shakes. Matty's pale face finally getting some color in it.  
"Do you ever get tired of this?" He finally asked breaking the silence.   
"Of what, love?" George grinned taking their wrappers and empty cups to the trash bin.   
"Taking care of me." Matty whispered softly. George sat on the bed and held him in his arms.   
"Anything to make sure you're safe."   
Matty whimpered and tears fell down his cheek. George's stomach churned at the sound and he began wiping them gently rubbing at his cheek.   
Before either of them could say anything their lips touched soft and gentle. Each kiss getting deeper and deeper.   
"You're beautiful, Matty. We don't have to do anything. I just want you to feel loved and cared for. It's been rough but at least we all have each other." He slipped George's shirt off before his was discarded as well.   
"We do. Don't we?" He said softly nibbling at George's neck as he moaned his reply.   
"Don't do this if it's not want you want." George repeated as dark marks appeared on his neck.   
"I want this.. want you now." He allowed the older man to undo his belt and pants sliding them off. Matty got off the bed and peeled the rest of his clothes off until he was naked and exposed to George. His hand rested on Matty's heart feeling it beat irregularly. The boys looked at each other as Matty rubbed the hand tenderly. Feeling all the love from George. It was a cold November night but he'd never felt warmer. He went back to join George on the bed kissing his lips in a quick, messy heated manner. One that left them lost for words and they didn't care. Matty rubbed George's thighs hinting he wanted him to be on top this time. Which he always did when he was high. He loved that sense of control and the aggression that comes with it and George loved seeing the lustful side of him. The one so overcome with need that leaves him gasping for air after his climax. Matty began to mark his neck on the other side while sitting in his lap moaning and groaning whispering about how much he wants to fuck him. His erection poking at George until he's finally done taunting the taller man. George's pupils were blown and what he really wanted to do was grab Matty and fuck his brains out but he respected him enough to let it be him to initiate it.   
"Lube?" Matty moaned into George's mouth kissing him roughly.   
"Just bought some." He gasped for air pointing to the bag.   
"Knew you wanted to fuck me." Matty grinned making out with the taller man.  
"I love fucking when your high.. so controlling and rough and it feels great. I mean I love it when you're sober and gentle and passionate but it's nice to change things up." Matty peeled himself off of George to grab the lube out of a convenience store bag. George laid back on the bed with the moonlight peering through the window and onto his body. Matty was in awe grinning and rushing back to bed still stumbling. He accidentally tripped but George caught him.   
"I think you're a little too out of it, love. What do you say to me riding you?" Before Matty could reply George kissed him tenderly parting his lips and allowing his tongue to slide in. He nodded quickly as George guided him to the edge of the bed.   
"Gonna blow you first."   
The last thing Matty remembers was George taking him in his mouth. Then very vaguely he remembers George laying him down on the bed with a kiss to his cheek or so he thought at least. He's not too sure.


	3. Those Three Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hangovers, shower sex and confessions... oh my.

Matty woke first. His body violently shaking and nausea ripping through his body. He immediately looked for the trash bin but saw George already placed it by his side. He grinned before allowing the contents from the night before to leave his stomach. Matty was gagging over the bin and regretting what he did. Before he knew it he felt rough hands tying his hair into a bun and his back being patted.   
"I got you, love it's ok."   
Before he could respond he began throwing up more.   
"Thank you." He finally said gasping for air. George closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss him when Matty giggled.   
"Gonna kiss me with yosh breath? Disgusting." George laughed as Matty made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He turned the sink on and grabbed the toothpaste brushing his teeth losing his train of thought. Suddenly he feels George's arms wrapped around his waist pushing an erection forward.   
"You done?" George asked kissing his neck slowly. Leaving a trail down to his collar bone. He nodded and a moan escaped his mouth.   
"Yes." He gasped barely able to speak.   
"We're snowed in from what I gather and we will be stuck here another day. Let's make the most of it."   
While Matty would love nothing more than fooling around with George his body wouldn't cooperate. Immediately he started gagging and ran to the toilet with George following right behind him. Matty was on his knees spilling into it as George rubbed his back again.   
"I think what you need is a long bath drawn for you and some pain killers." He announced kissing his cheek.   
"I'd like that very much, George. Thank you." George scurried to the bath tub throwing in lavender scented bath salts that were compliments of the hotel. He thought the scent would be calming to Matty at least so he discarded the entire sample sized bag in there along with the warm water. Gently he helped Matty up and undressed him. Tenderly rubbing his body and kissing him softly.   
"Join me." Matty begged as they got rougher and George bit his lip.   
"We won't fit, Matthew."   
"Shower?" Matty smirked taking George's pants off and rubbing his bare chest. He hated wearing shirts but Matty never minded in fact it was one less article of clothing to shed when they turned each other on.   
"After all that preparation I did for your bath? How dare you?" George pretended to be annoyed and that made Matty giggle.   
The smaller man wrapped his arms around George's waist and kissed his neck softly.   
"Then punish me daddy." He nibbled on George's neck relishing in the moans escaping his mouth. A few dark marks appeared and George nudged him to the shower. He adjusted it just how they like it then proceeded to shove Matty again the glass shower wall with his damp hair all over his face. They kissed. It was soft, gentle and Matty swears he saw stars they were in George's eyes. He could taste it too well what imagines they taste like anyways and for a moment he gets lost in the situation wanting nothing more than to get George in bed with candles and rose petals and all that romantic shit. A nice bottle of wine and some R&B playing like he does for his girlfriends. 

Butterflies take over George's stomach as Matty breaks away from the kiss to caress George's face. Carefully their lips meet again like they're fragile porcelain figures. It's been a while since George ever felt that way from just a kiss. He wants more. He sucks Matty's bottom lip earning moans from the smaller man.   
"I don't want to use condoms this time." George announces as he turns Matty around to push him against the wall lining up his rock hard member to Matty's entrance.   
He gasps at the change in position and before he questions why George doesn't want to use a condom he enters him without warning shoving Matty into the wall.   
"FUCK!" Matty screams out enjoying the pleasure.   
"You good Matty? Was that too rough?"  
He kissed Matty's neck waiting for a response.   
"No. Fuck no. Please keep going it was good." He winced knowing he's going to be paying for this tomorrow maybe even later.   
George thrusts again holding onto Matty's hips and moaning into his ear.   
"You like that don't you? Love letting me fuck you."   
Matty moans his response as George repeats more dirty words into his ear knowing what makes him tick.   
"I'm close Matty oh you're doing so good." He's panting and breathing heavily. He finally gets lost in the rhythm bucking forward and back so quickly Matty feels like he's going to fall. He grunts loudly and almost collapses into the shower floor but Matty turns around and helps him balance himself. Their lips meet in a passionate, heated kiss before George giggles.   
"God I don't know what's wrong with me lately."   
Matty smiles and laughs back as they help each other out of the shower. 

They lay in bed lazily wrapped up in each other watching "On the Road". Matty is intensively watching the screen and George is just looking at him. Studying his face when he feels like a scene isn't done properly and smiling as his favorite words come to life. George just loves watching him and studying his face. He knows them all by now. The one he makes when he's turned on, sad, happy, in love and for some reason he can't make out his face right now. It has a sense of confusion but also desire and lust. He can't make it out though and he doesn't want to be wrong. 

Matty can feel George's glare. He can feel his eyes anywhere. George's hands are lazily tracing up Matty's spine in a manner that's got his bones rattling with a defeated want. Not for drugs or a girl but for George. The thought has him scared out of his mind. He also wonders if maybe just maybe George could feel the same.

They curl up in bed cuddling as Matty falls asleep. George smiles then turns the tv off but not before kissing his forehead gently like he deserves.

"I love you, Matthew."


	4. //Over My Head//

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out or does it?

Matty rolled over in his sleep. The TV had just been turned off and he feels George kiss his forehead. He feels like it may be going in a different direction so he fakes being asleep. It never does. Just a tender, sweet affectionate kiss that leaves him puzzled. 

"I love you, Matthew." 

The words ring in Matty's ears as George lays next to him facing the opposite side. Matty can't sleep now. George's confession shakes him to his core and he wonders if it's a friendship love or relationship. He's desperate for it to be the latter. He needs it. He can't live another day in this facade. Even though he should be resting and George should too he decides to wake him. His slender body gets on top of George pushing his back towards the mattress with incredible force. He kisses his lips trying to pry them apart with his tongue. He wakes quickly opening his eyes as he kisses Matty back with a look of confusion on his face. George breaks the kiss to speak.   
"You ok? Is it another nightmare?" Matty nods his head quickly and kisses him more.   
"No. No. No. Need. You. I'm. Horny." Matty says in between kisses as he tears George's boxers off.   
"God right now?" He looks at the clock on the nightstand that reads 3:00 A M in green letters. Matty cups his face and jerks it towards him.   
"Yes, daddy." He knows that's the one word George can't resist and just like that Matty's shirt is torn off his body.   
"Call me that one more time and see what happens, Matthew." George groans as he latches onto Matty's neck and grinding into his hips. He bites down roughly tugging at his skin as Matty lets out a yelp.   
"I'll be a good boy, daddy." George undoes Matty's pants and slides them off carefully leaving the blanket on top of them.   
"I'm still halfway awake. Could you ride me?"   
Matty takes George's face and kisses him softly allowing his tongue to explore his mouth. He gasps into the kiss and moans. Grinding deeper and deeper into George making him want to explode already. He reaches for the lube on the night stand and a condom but George grabs his hand.   
"Stop. I told you I don't want those." He barks at Matty as he grabs the lube from his hand.   
"Why are you against using them all of the sudden?" Matty asks looking stupid pretty with his hair in his face biting his lip. George rolls Matty over so he can be on top contrary to what he just said because he's trying to distract Matty from the obvious answer. He pins Matty's wrists down to the mattress with pupils blown ready to tear the younger man apart. He lubes them both up and goes straight into Matty's hole.   
"Oh fucking hell, George." He moans softly biting his own lip with so much force George is scared it'll bleed which turns him on more so he starts sucking on his lip. He tastes a little blood and some wine Matty was drinking earlier. His hips buck into George's but he decided to smack into him at that time rougher.   
"Oh god. You're gonna tear me apart." Matty groans loudly.   
"You deserve it for waking me."   
George smirks back at him pounding into him more and more as Matty lays there helplessly but he's not complaining. He loves it when George is controlling and lustful. When his eyes are so filled with want and need sending Matty over the edge because that's all he's ever wanted. Someone to want and need him as madly as George does. He knows the rough sex is just a distraction for what George wants to say but is too afraid and Matty feels the same way. He knows all too well that George is close he can feel it.   
"In or on?" George asks between thrusts Matty bites his lip and George reaches back down to kiss him.   
"I----I L---e. Fuck." He grunts releasing himself into the smaller man. They're both gasping for air as Matty's vision fades and he feels a warm cloth on his skin. He falls asleep on the left side of the bed wrapped up in the soft blankets. 

 

George is a mess. He doesn't know what to say or do but he knows one things for sure-- he's in love with Matty. Not by choice because he would never choose this predicament for himself. He paces around the room watching Matty sleep before he decides to get dressed and pay Adam and Ross a visit. It's midnight but he knows that they're awake. He can sense it. He knocks on the door softly trying to make sure Matty doesn't hear.   
Ross answers the door grinning.   
"No we don't have anymore weed." He chuckles finishing his shot of liquor. George grabs a cup and fills it with vodka trying to down it all at once.   
Adam watches and becomes alarmed.   
"Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down. Take it easy mate. Everything ok?"   
George gulps it down like water.   
"It's fine. Why do you say that?" He chuckles back with the liquor taking over his mind.   
"You're going for vodka tonight. You don't drink it unless something's on your mind. Everything ok?"  
"I'm in love with Matty." George announces earning laughter from Adam and Ross at once.   
"What'ssofunny?" He slurs getting s little angry.   
At this point they're howling with laughter and George stands there puzzled.   
"George, who doesn't know you're in love with him?"   
He pauses for a second finishing the cup.   
"He doesn't."


	5. //I Love You//

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their story

Matty's dreaming. He rarely does but when they do they're so vivid and life like. He was 17 again. Oh how he misses it. He was drunk and so was George. It was his birthday like George talked about earlier. They were in Matty's room getting high listening to records. George kept looking at him like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. Matty's about to ask him what's bothering him but George lets it out.  
"M'sorry I couldn't find you a gift. I just. I didn't know what to get you and I feel a bit shitty being your best mate and not knowing."  
"It's ok." Matty giggled. From what he recollects it was 5 seconds before George's lips met his. Soft and gentle. Better than any kiss he's ever had. He kisses back rough and filled with desire. George matches the pace slowly ripping Matty's clothes to shreds. His somehow get pulled off his body. Neither of them can tell you how that happened.  
"Ever had sex with a bloke before?" George asks Matty nervously. He shakes his head.  
"Me neither. Are we doing this?" Matty nods kissing George.  
"George, before we do. Tell me something no one knows about you." George has to peel himself away from the kiss to answer.  
"I've fancied you from the moment I met you. I think you're incredible but I'm a bit scared because I've never fancied a bloke before."  
"I'm scared too but let's not let this effect our friendship. If it turns out to be more we can go forward."  
Matty nods slightly agreeing with him. Before he knows it George is on top of his body thrusting in gently. Tears are staining their eyes as their fingers intertwine. Matty moans softly as George grunts at the friction and wetness. God he should've spent more time opening him up but the weed and liquor made him feel bolder. Matty's chanting his name and begging for more.  
"George. George, I love you."  
"I love you too, Matty." George says so soft Matty barely hears it. He leans down to kiss him. It's not your average sex. Theirs sex and then theirs life changing, soul grabbing sex with that connection that makes it feel more right than anything. It's exactly how it felt and Matty's been searching for it his whole life with others but he's never able to find it. 

**

Suddenly Matty wakes up gasping for air as George stumbles in the room startling Matty as he reaches for the lamp.  
"It's ok Matty just me." George slurs and Matty turns the light on. He's making a fool of himself. He can't stand straight and almost trips over a chair. He's never seen George like this and it hurts him. He's seen him drunk of course but not knowing the cause of the mess he is strikes a cord with him. George finally trips and then he breaks down in tears. Matty immediately rushes to him offering to help him up.  
"I just want to be left alone." George manages to get out.  
Matty takes it the wrong way and rushes his clothes on and grabs his key card slamming the door shut as he leaves. It makes George even more of a mess. His words didn't come out right. He finally makes his way to the bed before passing out. 

Matty goes to Adam and Ross's room. Swinging the door open once it's unlocked.  
"What's wrong with George? Is he ok?"  
Ross and Adam looking over at each other before speaking.  
"Um. George is just out of it. You know how he is sometimes." Ross added lightly offering Matty a beer.  
"He doesn't get pissed unless something's on his mind." He replies taking the bottle and sitting down.  
"He'll tell you in his own time. He just didn't want to wake you."  
Matty finally eases and drinks a few beers. 

**  
George is dreaming of the day Matty broke his heart. It was raining and they ditched school. It wasn't the first time they ever had. At this point in time they were having a lot of sex with no meaning and a lot of meaning behind it but they couldn't admit it to themselves. Matty still fooled around with girls from time to time but he didn't let know George that. They sat in George's room getting high before Matty eased the obvious tension in the room.  
"Can I tell you something?" Matty blurts out and George nods thinking the worst.  
"Remember, Ashley? The bird I fucked about with in the summer?"  
George nodded again not wanting to remember.  
"I-I--I she might be pregnant George and I thought you should be the first to know."  
His heart sank. It crumbled. He couldn't think straight he couldn't breathe. All he can remember seeing was the look of shock and sadness on Matty's face. 

A month passed by and the whole school found out she was faking it but still they grew apart. 

**  
Matty gently opens the door with food and shakes as George did for him the other day wanting to take care of the younger man. It's the least he could do he thought since he didn't know what was going on. George was laying on the bed looking up and the ceiling. Matty grinned and went to lay next to him. George opened his arms to hold Matty.  
"What are you thinking about?" Matty asked looking up at the white ceiling. It wasn't decorated. Just plain and ordinary.  
"Love." George replied vaguely.  
"What of it?" Matty asked puzzled.  
"Why is it so hard to tell someone you're in love with someone but so easy to say you love them?" He asked Matty eager to hear his response.  
"I wonder the same thing." Matty adds with his eyelids getting heavy making George smile.  
"Take a nap, Matty. I'll be ok. Don't worry about me, please. It's something that I'm trying to sort out and I'll tell you when I'm ready." He kisses Matty's forehead and Matty mumbles drifting himself into a deep slumber.


	6. // Past, present and future//

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George takes a trip down memory lane.

George paced around the room as Matty slept thinking about the time they started fooling around again.   
**  
It was when they went to Austin for sxsw. Matty was tired and so was George they retired to their room and started to drink a little bit of whisky. They put on some random movie and half way through they're smashed. They giggle and do shots stealing glances at each other. Their is tensions in the air. Matty keeps smiling at George as he takes shot after shot. Watching the way his mouth touches the bottle. He imagines those lips on his body. George smirks because he knows exactly what he's doing. Matty and George are sitting on the bed together before finally Matty kisses George unexpectedly. It's short and sweet but they linger. George kisses back much harder tugging at his shirt.   
"M'sorry. I'm starting to get a little horny." Matty finally says trying to sound as sultry as he can while smashed.   
"Any bird in this hotel would sleep with you."   
"Yeah but I'd rather have you."   
He wraps his arms around George's waist kissing his neck roughly.   
"I want you, George. Fuck me." He winces his reply. He's scared out of his mind. He finally has Matty again but he doesn't like the thought of losing him again. However he gives in and they spend the night rediscovering each other's bodies.   
He bites on Matty's lip tasting the liquor infused with Matty's taste and if he's being honest it turns him on more.   
"Have you been with any other blokes between then?" George smirks trying to psyche himself out of the situation.   
"No-- I. Just you George." Matty admits with his voice breaking looking beautiful with his hair in his face and lips getting swollen already. George grins at the response taking Matty's shirt off. He kisses his collarbone licking the area as Matty throws his head back and moans.   
"I'm gonna spend all night teasing you and when I'm done I'm gonna fuck you nice and hard. You'll be moaning my name so loud the whole floor can hear." Matty loves dirty talk and instantly lays back allowing George to take over his body. Before Matty knows it he's a moaning mess with his head buried in a pillow and George pounding him.   
"George harder please. Please fuck me oh god." He screams as he wraps his arms around his waist allowing him self to get in deeper. His voice echoes and judging by the banging on the wall Adam and Ross can hear.   
"You hear that? They know it. They know how good I'm fucking your tight little hole. Let's put on a show for them." George grabs Matty by the hair and whispers in his ear. Matty smirks and starts screaming George's name just so they know how good he is. George chuckles in response and sparks him earning a loud moan. He vaguely hears Adam and Ross begging them to stop and groans but he doesn't care. The night ends with lots of filled condoms and the both of them sleeping soundly that night cuddled up together. Matty has his head on George's bare chest and falls asleep to his heart beat. It's soothing and the rhythm is his new favorite song. George chuckles at him and holds him close. Holds onto him for dear life because he's scared of all the possibilities coming his way. 

They continue this for 6 months until finally Matty starts disappearing a lot. George told himself maybe it was to hang out with friends from the area or meet fand or score some weed but he was given the real answer one day. She came out of no where with big tits and a small waist being the one thing he could never be--a woman. Matty and Ashley as she called herself came on the bus together giggling with stoned eyes.   
"Aye. Guys this is my girlfriend, Ashley." She extended her hand out to George and his heart sank again he played along well. Until it was night and everyone returned to their bunks to sleep. He stayed up all night crying as everyone drifted to sleep. He thinks he heard Matty too but he's not sure he drank a lot that night. 

Ashley and Matty break up a month later. George thought he would be relieved but he didn't care. He was alone with Matty in the bus when he made a move on him again. Their lips touched gently before George pulled away. Tears streamed down Matty's face as he told him he couldn't do it anymore.   
"I can't be your plan B. I can't be that fling. I can't be any of that Matty.." George sighs walking away into the night.  
That was 3 years ago. 

Then he thought of the last time. He was caught up in the moment. They were in New York playing a late night show. George and Matty were smoking a celebratory joint when all of the sudden George kissed him and he kisses back. He pushes his limp body against the wall humping him roughly feeling his hard on. Their clothes shed and so did their souls. George gently made love to Matty on the carpet of the dressing room. Tenderly rubbing his cheek with every thrust. Matty cried.   
"I missed you, George." He lets out crying even harder.   
George came. They had "the talk".   
"What are we?" George asked as he played with Matty's curls. Running his fingers through his hair.   
"We're friends that like to fuck. Stop creating labels. I can't keep letting you down. I don't want to hurt you."   
**   
And here they are scared shitless but obviously in love with each other. George takes a hot shower and he can still find little pieces of Matty's hair in there from yesterday. He grins to himself and allows the warmth of the shower to take over his body. Adam and Ross informed him earlier they were still staying even though the snow cleared out since tour kicks back off in a few days anyways. He doesn't mind. More time with Matty and more time to fall harder for him. He finally gets out about 20 minutes later in a bath robe gently opening the bathroom door to make sure he doesn't wake Matty. He finds him at the desk writing frantically like the words will disappear if he doesn't write them fast enough. He smirks and gets behind Matty rubbing his back and kissing his neck. Matty closes his eyes and moans dropping the pencil. George stops leaning to pick it up and put it on the table.   
"Oh don't stop. Never." He purred missing his hands.   
George snaps back up and laughs into his neck.   
"Can I tell you? What I've been meaning to say." He motions Matty towards the bed and they sit there. George fidgets as Matty stays calm and effortlessly beautiful as always.   
"Go on George." Matty smiled warmly looking into his soul.   
"I'm falling for you... Matty. I can't keep up this charade. I can't keep pretending it's just sex and we're just friends. I love you."   
Matty chuckles alarming him.   
"What?" George inquires looks down. Matty grabs his face and leans in to kiss him slowly sliding his tongue in just barely.   
"It's about time you admit it." George grins and they make love. They're wrapped in white sheets naked and bare to each other. Talking and reminiscing about all the things that lead to this moment.   
George grabs Matty's hand and interlocks their fingers.   
"I--I never told you this but I lost my virginity at 16." Matty chuckles not understanding what he means.   
"Lots of people do George."   
George stares into a crack in the wall before finally spitting it out.   
".... to you.... you were my first."


	7. //Gucci Rings Mean Everything//

Matty blushed and starts stammering over his words.   
"I-um- I'm sorry what?"   
"You're the first person I've ever slept with, Matty. I've always loved you. Even when I didn't know it." He tried to explain himself better but Matty tackled him to the bed kissing him roughly. George wrapped his legs around Matty's waist pulling him in closer.   
"I love you, I love you. God I love you." Matty said softly planting kisses on his lips. He was on the verge of tears his voice quivering.   
"Always have. Always will, George." A tear streams down his face then George wipes it away and reaches up to kisses his cheek. Matty smiles and pushes him back down biting at his wrists then neck. George moans softly in response as Matty undoes his own pants before discarding him then does the same to George.   
"I want you." He whispers in his ear.   
"You have me, you have me baby." George moans bucking up. Matty discards his own shirt then George follows. Their bodies press against each other as they kiss lustfully. Mashing their lips together harder and harder as Matty attempts to reach the night stand for a condom. George pushes his hand back.   
"What did I say? No condoms Matty. I want us to be as close to each other as possible. No latex. Lamb skin. No barriers just us." Matty kisses him roughly before whispering, "We already are."   
Before they know it Matty's entering George gently quivering as he slides in and out slowly at first but getting rougher with each stroke. They're a moaning mess of emotions and skin filling the empty room with their sounds and memories.   
And just like that they felt like scared teenagers again knowing that this is more than sex. Sex is sometimes drunken, spontaneous, lustful, sinful and full of consequences. This wasn't sex. It was two souls coming together as one to create something bigger and better than they could ever be on their own. George looked up at Matty and his sweat drenched curls looking like the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Matty gazed at George through his hair meeting his blown pupils as he moans and cries at the release. He's getting closer he can feel it. He bites his lip and thrusts faster making George's moans become louder and louder before he finally spills into him. Matty pulls out hypersensitive and weak. They lay there for a minute out of breath before Matty gets a wash cloth from the bathroom to clean them up. He dabs George gently making sure he's good before he throws it into the bathroom and gets on top of George kissing him roughly.   
"God. I love you. I love you I love you I love I love you. George, I fucking love you with all of my heart and soul. That was beautiful." He proclaims as he kisses his cheek.   
He pulls Matty's body closer to him and kisses his forehead.   
"You were amazing. I've never had sex that great before." Matty and George chuckle as they cuddle then drift off to sleep. 

Tour kicked off today and George is a nervous mess. Because this is how it ended every time. He's tense and full of fear. During sound check he's off rhythm and everyone wonders about him until they finally take a break and Matty rushes up beside him then pushes him into a closet kissing him. He shuts the door and locks it and the dark room fills with their sounds. George pushes Matty's body again a wall and he moan as George bites his lip then nips at his neck and they're really about to have sex until some a roll of toilet paper falls and hits Matty's nose making them giggle.   
"George? Are you okay?" Matty asks holding his hand and kissing him softly.   
George nods and kisses him roughly.   
Matty pushes him away.   
"No stop. George. Something's going on with you. I can feel it in your kiss." He nips at his neck trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. He pushes him back into the wall but Matty fights back looking into George's eyes.   
"STOP!" Matty screams pushing George off of him. George stops all motions and pecks Matty on the cheek trying to calm him down. He grabs his hand then kisses it.   
"You want to know what's going on with me?"   
Matty nods eagerly kissing back.   
"Fine. I---- I'm scared. This is what happens every time. I fall harder for you. You confess something for me and everything is so perfect but it doesn't last. You end up with someone else or something happens and I pick up with pieces by myself." He finally says tearing up.   
Matty's wipes the tears away and grabs a ring off of his hand.   
"This is going to be different. Want to know how?" George nods and places the ring on his ring finger.   
"That's how. George Bedford Daniel will you marry me because I can't spend another moment of my life without you. Not just behind me on your drums fucking killing it at every show or dragging you with me to interviews but beside me in a cramped up bunk on the tour bus and a hot steamy shower at a hotel in Paris fucking until the sun comes up. Wearing your hickies like a necklace. Being united."   
George giggles nervously before kissing Matty in acceptance then the pair make their way out of the closet.   
"Are we really engaged?" George asks blushing and glancing at the Gucci rings.   
"No I give all of my friends a special piece of jewelry and declare my love for them." Matty adds sarcastically nudging George. As they take on whatever city they're in tonight because they know as long as they're together it's perfect.


End file.
